A lot of people ask me how I am doing, "What’s it like being back?" they ask. I don't think anyone who hasn't served a full time mission for The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints can fully understand the thoughts and feelings that I have. My whole life was building up to this mission. This time when I could forget myself and help others, go out and teach others about the gospel. I did it! For two years I had that chance I lived it and loved it, serving the people of Park City, Utah and Bahia, Brasil. (If you want to read about that you can go to our family blog www.menderfamily.blogspot.com) Suddenly on August 4th I found myself sitting in the Atlanta Georgia airport all by myself. It was finished, and a few hours later I would be with my family. I desperately fought to remember all the people I had met, taught, and loved. I heard voices but the sounds didn't register. Where were the soft voices and flowing vowels, the palletized sounds of a language I loved so much? At some point it hit me that there was no going back - I was truly headed home. As soon as my plane landed in NH and I saw my family, the excitement started and I barely had time to think. My mother had perfectly planned out all my time so that I had very little free time, which was probably a good thing. From doctors appointments, to homecoming talks, and a motorcycle class, my time was all used up in what seemed like a fast paced race. But now, I find myself with too much time on my hands. This week my parents and I started a cross-country road trip. I have, since infancy, been designated as the backseat boy. In fact, I’m writing from the backseat. It seems that everything reminds me of Brasil, and my life that seems so long ago. I’m here and I must go forward but a part of me wants to go back to the rigid schedule: wake up, workout, shower, study, work, lunch, work, plan, and sleep. It’s a schedule that works, that illuminates the mind and soul. Although I know I’m starting a new schedule, one where I make the times, and I call the shots. I have so many goals, hopes, desires, and fears. It’s a tricky question, "How am I doing" I’m happy, I’m nervous, I want to go back and I want to go forward. I’m stuck in what I call an awkward phase, where the mission still calls me, but the future silently invites me to join it not knowing what awaits, but hoping that I can apply those lessons I learned in the hot Brazilian sun. I guess all I can do is go with the flow and relax as we finish our lovely road trip and cruise into Happy Valley.
