A year in review

ive tried many times over the past year to write a second blog entry but every time  i sit down to attempt it i cant seem to find the right words. it   seems only appropriate to me that i find myself writing this on my way to brazil from BYU since my first entry was on my way to BYU from Brazil. Life is one crazy ride that is for sure. since returning home from my mission i have wanted to go back to that country every day. i didn't realize just how bad I've missed the people, the beautiful language, and exciting culture until i found myself today sitting in the jfk airport surrounded by the most beautiful people. as we boarded the plane we seemed to be transported to a new country and yet we were just on the tarmac in New York. The sounds of that lovely latin language whirled around me. one of the most fascinating things to me is that no one was frustrated or agitated like a normal flight in the US. There was just excitement and energy - the Brazilian way. next to me a seat was double booked it was amazing at how calm, friendly and even helpful everyone was. No one seemed to get angry at those little inconveniences that trouble most americans.  As i buckled up the stewardess came by with a little passion fruit candy as i popped it into my mouth, the delicious flavor hitting my tounge, i was instantly taken back to my mission and everything i experienced at that precious time in my life... Now i do not want to write here about this trip to brazil, there will be plenty of time for that later, nor do i necessarily want to write about my mission but i want to talk about the things i learned on my mission and how it has changed my life specifically in the past year. The first lesson i learned was to work: On a mission you learn to work. Even the missionaries who don't want to work seem to pick up those habits and grow considerably. When i first got to Provo i was taking a full course load, i got a job at the MTC teaching portuguese, and i was called to the elders quorum presidency. I remember nights laying in bed thinking i couldn't do it. Wanting to go back to the simple and organized pattern of the mission but you cant really do that. So i did what i did every day on the mission i just woke up and got it done. It seemed there where days i did more than i should have had time to do. sometimes you just have to wake up and do it even if you don't think you can. second, trust in the Lord: I quickly learned in the MTC as a young missionary that i couldn't do it on my own and i had to depend entirely on the Lord if i wanted to be an affective representative of Christ. I had to trust in his timing and that he knew better for me. It has been the same thing in the past year. i would do as much as i could but then i had to leave the rest up to the Lord. I can look back on the past and see the times where i know the Lord made up when i was certainly lacking. Other times life didn't go quite how i planned a girl broke up with me, a grade came back a little lower than i thought, or i offended someone when i didn't want to.  But the wonderful thing is that i can say the Lord knew what he was doing. Everything i passed through taught me something and changed me into who i am. One of my mission presidents favorite sayings that really touched me was, "we need to have the faith to succeed but also the faith not to." third, the importance of planning: One of my favorite times on the mission was weekly and daily planning when you could sit down with your companion and make goals and then figure out how you were going to do them.  I have to admit i haven't been perfect at this over the past year but i have tried hard. I know how important it is to make goals and then plan out how you are going to accomplish those goals. One of the keys for me is to not get complacent; when i get close to reaching a goal i need to quickly figure out a new goal that will push me and stretch me so that i am always progressing and growing. I think another important aspect is the combination of  long term and short term goals. The two go together like peanut butter and jelly. when we plan right we can use our time effectively and more efficiently than we originally thought. fourth, pray earnestly: When we work hard, trust in the Lord, and plan our best we are then in a position that we can actually go to the Lord and ask for his help.  Missionaries dont just simply plan and go out and work but there are another two important principles: the prayer of faith and accountability.  So it has been for me this past year, when i sit down and plan out my day  i realize i have more to do than can possibly be done in one day so i get down on my knees and tell my Father in Heaven what i think i can handle. Then i plead with him to help me with the rest and i get up and go to work.  The beauty is it doesnt stop there when i get home at night i pray again to tell the Lord what i've done with the time that he has given and to thank him for the help that he gave me. Prayer is one of the most important ways we show gratitude, recieve strength, get revelation, and communicate with our Father in Heaven. It brings peace and just makes life better. (i would also include scripture study here. when we make the basics a priority in our life we are blessed.) Fifth, live to serve: A mission is two years of straight service. Your purpose is to help others twenty four hours a day, although sometimes the people dont see it that way... but thats a different story.  Since I have been home i have heard people say things like "im done worrying about others" or "im only going to do what makes me happy" and "i hate when i help others but they dont thank me or help me back". Anytime i hear something like that i cringe and something doesnt feel right. As i have thought about why i was so happy on my mission ive realized it was because i wasnt worried about me. I found joy in bringing happiness to others and you know what? it didnt stop when i was released as a full time missionary. I have found that the only way to truly find joy in this life is to forget my wants and desires and to always look for moments to help others. Please, lets not worry about what we get in return but lets serve and give of our time because its the right thing to do.  Its the human thing to do.  Sixth, personal reflection and self evaluation: There is never really time set aside for personal evaluation on a mission, maybe its personal study, or when we set goals, or P-day but every missionary inevitably finds time to sit and ponder about how they are doing and if theyre off course to try and get back on. I have found in the past year that real life is hectic. Taking a few minutes to leave the hustle and bustle of the world and to just sit and think can really help to make life seem more manageble.  Sometimes as you sit nothing really happens but that you got to relax for a few minutes but other times whisperings and promptings will come that can be answers to the big problems in your life. As i have listened to those promptings i have been blessed and extremely grateful i took time to just sit and think.  One key part of this time for me is reflecting on my relationship with my Savior and seeing how i have increased it in the past week and to think about how i will make it stronger in the next week. time to meditate is great. Seventh, its not the end until you die: Every elder (and sister) knows that you cant stop working until your stake president asks  you to take of your name tag because if you do for just one moment you could miss that golden contact or the family that has been prepared just for you. What ive found is that its the same for us.  If we arent always ready we could miss out on a great opourtunity.  But what i really mean when I say that it isnt the end unitl we die is that sometimes we are too hard on ourselves. I am the first to admit i often feel inadiquite, i feel like ive made too many mistakes to be of any worth to anyone. We forget that every day is a new day. We can take each day and be better than yesterday. I think that if we do that we will be on the right track. To quote one of my favorite men, "try a little harder to be a little better". So often we forget Christ and what he did for us. Maybe we dont literraly forget him but we dont understand his sacrifice and it we dont use it. The atonement was so that all those mistakes we made can be washed away but it goes beyond that its there to help make us perfect. When you're not feeling up to par remember that its never too late to change, unless you just died and then... well you wouldnt be reading this.